Whether we like it or not, the world becomes a softer place for all of us from the use of metaphors. I mean, can you imagine what it would be like if everyone went around with a fast-forward, tongue-in-cheek attitude, speaking their minds freely in every circumstance without making the least detour or using some colorful comparisons? Well, I’m guessing that disaster would ensue and confusion will be likely to get cast all around. So while you watch the following video, hopefully you’ll keep in mind that metaphors are actually quite useful and actually necessary as a lesser evil:

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Rudyard Kipling
If

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

Popularity: 1% [?]

I was about to tell you about this ingeniously cool website I just found called “53” whose motto is something like “simple and nonsensical; this really is a cool website (although there could be more than half a dozen articles – come on Mr.53 pace up would ya? There’s people here who are interested in your crazy rants), where you’ll find lots of things that will assist you in your daily enjoyment, such as the Official 53 drinking game.

Anyway, while I was definitely impressed with this crazy website, I got somewhat disappointed when I found this specific article called “Words that Rhyme with Orange“. At first, I was exhilarated I would finally get to see such a list. You see, I’m not merely a wordsfreak, mind you. The thing is there’s a popular misconception that no words rhyme in the English language rhyme with Orange. I’m not really sure where this comes from (perhaps that Monkey Island game from LucasArts). Anyway, I was pretty confident in my wordsfreaking abilities, so I figured I’d make a top 10 words that rhyme with Orange. Then I decided I’d really up the ante, and I figured I might as well go for 53.

So, as I proceeded with unwavering confidence towards the resolution of the aforementioned list, my first logical step was to look around in the top google results for “online rhyme dictionary“. Not surprisingly – as the bunch of smart-ass unemployed English majors out there will easily verify – it was of no avail:

Words and phrases that rhyme with orange: (0 results)

Sorry, no perfect rhymes were found.Then I figured it was time for in-depth research, so I outright asked google for “list of words that rhymes with orange”. While I didn’t find exactly what I was looking for, I did fin an enlightening lead, within this english major website. According to “the experts”:Orange is one of those words that famously has nothing perfectly to rhyme with it. The other one is silver. However, the Oxford Rhyming Dictionary does show both these words as having half-rhymes (such as lozenge with orange and salver with silver).The principle of a half-rhyme in these cases is quite simple. Whereas a full and stressed rhyme (e.g. hand / stand) or even an unstressed rhyme (such as handing / standing) contain vowels that are common to both words, a half-rhyme like orange / lozenge or silver / salver (technically speaking, pararhymes) has obvious differences between vowels in certain syllables.

Still I won’t give up so easily.

I mentioned back before my resolution was unwavering, and I’m holding on to that. So I’ll proceed (hopefully assisted by you people staring at the screen with a puzzled look, right now) to make my own…

Top 53 Words that (kind of) Rhyme With Orange:

Alonge

Amaze

Arrange

Baggage

Blamange?

Brains

Bunge

Challenge

Change

Cleavage

Counter-change

Daring

Derange

Disarrange

Door-hinge

Downrange

Estrange

Exchange

Falange

Forage

Fringe

Gear Change

Grange

grange

Image

Interchange

Lounge

Lozenge???

Luggage

Massage

Message

Midrange

Morhange?

Mortgage

Omnirange

Orphanage

Outrange

Overarrange

Pillage

Porridge

Prearrange

Range

Rearrange

Rechange

Sausage

Shortchange

Sponge

Stonehenge

Strange

Strange

Syringe

Village

…………………..

(I think I’m getting syllable-deaf here – I’ll resume this after an intermission -_-;

not too bad tough: past 24 hours, the list is over 30, and looking forward towards completion in the visible future.

Afterwards, it’s only a matter of editing, and the list will be ready for official release.)

Update: I’ve been digging around some videos for inspiration; feel free to watch. And pace yourselves, I’m looking forward to a list worthy of being posted in my undisputedly favorite website.

Quiz show dimwits presents “What rhymes with orange?” :

Totally unrelated video, from a band known as “ORANGE range”. Subtle little bastards! (Must take mental note to award a slice).

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