That’s it everyone, it’s all over!
Leaves are turning from green to brown, ironic talk of barbecues is long forgotten and Bruce Forsythe has been exhumed for another season of Strictly Come Dancing.
It’s October, it’s autumn, let’s move on.
But how do you intend to prepare for the winter?
Do you have a particular ritual, mantra or fresh idea to help you get through those chilly seasonal months?
If you’re struggling to come to terms with summer’s demise then fear not, help is at hand. Below are ten red hot tips to help you to make it through to March without even the merest mention of discovering religion, warm jumpers or falling in love with Jack Black, Jude Law, Kate Winslet or Cameron Diaz.
Ten red hot tips to help you get through the winter
Buy a slow cooker
Retro cooking is all the rage RIGHT NOW and this incredible device is currently at the pinnacle of chic cuisine because basically it involves doing absolutely nothing other than stuffing a lump of meat into a hot box, leaving it for a day and a half and then producing an absolutely delicious winter warmer.
Plan a gap year
There’s nothing better than gloating to your friends about what you’re intending to do in the new year and thoughts of voluntary work abroad will produce enough heart felt warmth to get you through even the most severe of winter evenings.
Make a den for hedgehogs
It’s not all about you, you know! Spare a thought for our prickly brothers and sisters who can’t wear clothes. NOW is an ideal time to create a massive wooden den solely for hedgehogs. NB: It is secretly about you because the trick is to build the massive hog haven right outside your patio windows so you can watch the spiky pigs sleeping which will no doubt help you to forget about your own winter blues.
Make some home brew
Drinking isn’t just for the beach or that old park bench so what are you waiting for? Grab yourself a few thousand empty plastic bottles, chuck some yeast into a bucket and let the good times roll.
There’s nothing better or cheaper than brewing your own booze and as such this top tip for getting through winter ensures a warm fuzzy glow no matter what the weather.
Make a ski slope in your back garden
We all remember Eddie the Eagle right? (NO!) This partially blind idiot built his own ski ramp just in time to represent Great Britain at the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary managing to make a ham-fisted hero of himself into the bargain. Give it a go yourself, why don’t you? Build a ramp, wait for snow and crash land onto your next-door neighbour’s potting shed.
Create a fire place in your lounge
If you don’t have a fireplace already then fashion your own using typical household equipment such as a sledgehammer, chisel and nail clipper. There’s only one way to toast your nuts in front of the glowing embers of a fire and that’s to smash a hole in your lounge wall, manoeuvre your furniture and set fire to some stuff.
Really get into Strictly Come Dancing
It’s a tough ask but thankfully the BBC cater for the winter by tricking unwitting viewers into becoming addicted to Saturday nights in front of the box. Make your own Excel spreadsheet score chart, create tiny models of this year’s contestants or learn how to dance by watching Len Goodman’s lessons on the ‘It Takes Two’ show hosted by ex-convict Claudia Winkleman on BBC 2 every night of the week.
Buy a St. Bernard dog
Cuddle up, keep warm and douse yourself in a constant supply of brandy. Also, if it snows, you’ll be the one who gets found first!
Plant a Christmas tree
Tuck a yule nut into a bucket of mud and watch the fun commence. There’s nothing better than watching the first bauble and tinsel appear prior to the excitement of the main event – star or fairy?
Make a giant apple crumble
This incredible ‘get through winter’ tip involves creating a hot pudding so vast that you can not only eat your way through it but you can live inside it too. Like the giant paellas, famed throughout the Mediterranean, this crumbly treat should be large enough to feed, house and warm a village about the size of Cambridge.
Dave loves to prepare for winter and loves to share his tips on how to get through the year’s cold seasons.