The other night I had a strange dream where I found a magic lamp, and the genie granted me only one wish because I was hungry so I’ve asked for some fish and chips and then I realized I wasn’t in England and I’d just gotten ripped off two precious wishes. So I decided I’d use my third wish judiciously and I pondered about it for a few years ( actually I think it might have been eons, i remember a starry background, but it’s kind of fuzzy).

So while I sat contemplating the stars, I noticed the genie had disappeared ( I was floating in space), so I eventually snapped out of it and proclaimed out loud: I want to be someone famous and get loads of riches and booty! Just like a pirate, but without the nasty breath and crooked legs – I thoughts. Well, needless to say, the genius was nowhere to be found, but since the stupid dream had to go on ( I suppose)… sooner than I know it, I’m just sitting around this Auction house, right?

So, I’m walking around the place, looking sharp and feeling popular and adored and side-glanced (in a good way) by everyone, and something takes my attention, amongst the scattered labyrinth of ceremonious red clothed tables. All of the other tables were cluttered with fuzzy garbage… except this one table which felt as tough it was brighter than the surrounding tables somehow – even though the cloth was exactly the same color. So, this one table, it’s neatly arranged with five intriguing items.

The first item was a whip, and I figured it might have been a Freudian dream of some kind I was having ( do you ever get aware you’re having a dream, anyhow?). So I must have forgotten it was a dream sometime around this point – other wise I’d have conjured some kind of top 5 playboy’s dream and get whipping – but just then I remembered I was actually running a classy joint this time in my life,

The second item was a wrench. I stood in puzzling contemplation wondering just what the hell there would be a wrench in my dream for – but just then I recalled the whole genius-driven charade – I was having a dream, and doubtlessly it was highly symbolic. So I tried to focus the attention in what kind of celebrity I would be… in other words, I tried to recall my dream identity as a handsome superstar shopping around an intriguing auction house – even tough I was really having a silly dream which happened to be highly symbolic. So I struggled to keep my focus, and sooner than I knew it the dream was on track.

The third item stood prominently amongst the 5 pack. It was a large antique gold embroiled mirror. Figured as much, since it was a semi-conscious dream about lost and retrieved identity about being an imaginary celebrity bedazzled by some kind of awkward dream genius. So as I stood facing the mirror, I had become so intrigued in my own reflection about the conflict between dream and imagination – or rather the soft places of awareness. I became so immersed in my inner reflection, that thought deprived me of taking notice of the reflection in the mirror. So I still didn’t know which celebrity I was, but just then…

Item four streamed into my consciousness as though it was a jazz lullaby…before I noticed it, everything else had slipped my mind, and the auction house had just become embedded in this eerie yet seductive reddish hue, and my attention firmly grasped that amazing crystal skull, flashing in kaleidoscopic grandeur, broadcasting visions of delight and delirium, alike. Either it was destiny or despair, the destruction of my dream was imminent, and this is something I easily reckoned, as my awareness eventually faded towards the fifth and final object – after what might have been a bottled, crystal-packed, skull shaped eternity.

I squinted my eyes, and a inner broadcast announced the impression that I was bound to wake soon enough, because I had fell asleep on the keyboard with the speakers set to maximum volume, and someone was about to wake me up with that annoying messenger sound. Even as the thought flashed in my mind, so the aggravating sound flashed across my eardrums, bringing me back from slumber – quite abruptly, I might add. So I just rubbed my eyes, and I tried not to concentrate too hard, as to keep my dream vision to be sent back to the recess of my mind.

I struggled not to struggle with waking life, but soon enough I was wide awake, and avidly trying to remember the strange dream I’d just hard. So i typed furiously trying to pick up every detail up until this point, where I feel I might now be able to remember the fifth and final item that might possibly solve the enigmatic oniric riddle I’d just been subject to. The fifth item was a credit card. Just as I saw it, my sight rushed towards the name, but something was wrong.

I remembered you can’t read letters while dreaming, because they keep changing, and you never make up your mind, and you can actually go crazy with that. So I shrugged the uncomfortable impression of not knowing who I was, and I clinged to the thought that I was actually a celebrity living and (actual) dream life, and I had a credit card to buy whatever I wanted to. So it didn’t take long before I decided I’d bid in all of the five items and get them whatever the price might be ( I was famous so I could afford it); just then a startling flash crossed my mind, sending me back once and for all from the soft places of dreaming: how could I possibly use my credit card to bid for itself along with four other items pertaining my dream celebrity identity? Wasn’t that just exaggeratedly self-recurring and contradictory?

So once again I woke up and I decided I might as well call it a day and get some sleep, before I get to resume the hot pursuit for the fast-paced technological blogger’s dream of entertaining the vast crows amongst planes, dimensions and networks and who god knows what else. I was pretty sleepy by then… so as I asked my Firefox Google bar to fetch a picture of the celebrity I dreamt I’d been – it’s pretty logic if you think of it, I got it figured out by the second item…. come on, a wrench and a whip? How obvious is that? Anonymous mechanic turned into Hollywood superstar… anyone? Let me nab you a picture:

Yeah, I know that was pretty dope. But you know what really strange? Just before I went to sleep, I noticed my browser was set to a website I’d never been to, even though I’d heard about it from a friend. It was lifelock, a new company that specializes in protecting people from identity theft. I was standing here completely wide-eyed astonished thinking about the strange coincidence. Luckily it didn’t take me long enough to reason it’d been the other way around ( must have dozed off while looking at the page – even though it’s actually quite interesting and a rather revolutionary product, I suppose). So I figured… might was well press that Publish button without bothering to re-read through the several dozens thick paragraphs I’d just written, because most likely and by then çlk

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