Now, don’t you assume I’m being judgemental, here: I’m a thoroughly lazy person myself, and I’m not shy about admitting it, either. Consequently, my expertise is not to be taken lightly on this matter, because I’ve long pondered the implications sustaining the following claim, which could easily become an essential an axiom for explaning modern procrastination:

 -Blame it on the mattress.

If they really expected us modern citizens of the world to work harder and be active and productive and whatnot, why in the hell would they keep making more sophisticated mattresses? That makes no sense to me, and it seems we were better off in the good old Dark ages! Now, those were the days…

It certainly appears the higher powers intend to make us all into a breed of procrastinators, and I’m beginning to suspect there may be some kind of a sinister conspiracy afoot, involving reptilians, politicians, and possibly the Bigfoot. So

…. uh, stay tuned for more of this! I guess. Unless *they* come for me first, for disturbing widespread procrastination with this horrid creative and thought-provoking post.

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